Networking for Founders Who Hate Networking

I had someone hold me accountable to saying hello to three people at my first networking event for my own business. Left to my own devices, I'm not sure I would have gone. But once someone sets a challenge? I don't like not meeting it.

So I went. And those first few were nerve-wracking, but nowhere near as bad as I thought they were going to be.

Four years and a lot of events later, I still remember that feeling. The overthinking, wondering if I was doing it wrong, not knowing how to start connecting with people, especially when they're already standing in a group.

If you're there now - or if networking still feels awkward - this is for you.

Before You Even Leave the House

1. Choose events where you won't completely out of your comfort zone - such as a topic you enjoy. Not all networking is the same. Some are structured with formal intros and name badges, some are casual drinks where everyone's already three glasses in, some are breakfast briefings where you're trying to be professional before coffee has kicked in. Work out which format you're most comfortable with and start there. No point forcing yourself into a 7am breakfast thing if you're not a morning person.
   

2. Industry events often feel easier than general business networking because you've got common ground. If you're in retail, hospitality, lifestyle - look for events where people get your world. You can skip pretending to care about big tech, and get straight into the interesting stuff.
   

3. If you're coming from corporate and picturing the same networking environment? Founder and small business events are worlds apart. Much more welcoming, less finance bro's performative and fewer people trying to collect business cards like Pokemon.

4. Sort out your introduction (it doesn't need to be impressive). You don't need a pitch. You don't need to sound like you're on Dragon's Den. You just need to answer "what do you do?" without fumbling or underselling yourself. Keep it simple: "I run a coffee shop in Peckham" or "I'm a freelance designer working with sustainable fashion brands." Done. The conversation goes from there. If you find yourself saying "I just..." or "I'm only..." - stop. You're not just anything. You run a business. Own it.
   

Go alone (I know, I know)

Going with someone you know feels safer. But you'll end up talking to them all night, defeating the entire point of going. Going alone gently nudges you to connect with new people (which is the whole point), and they're more likely to approach you too. Nobody wants to interrupt a pair who look like they're deep in conversation.

Plus, there's something quite liberating about walking in solo. Just you, doing your thing.

The First 15 Minutes

Timing matters more than you think

Get there early-ish. Not first - that's too awkward, standing around while the organisers are still setting up. But aim for when there's 10-15 people already there.

It's easier to join smaller groups, and you won't get that overwhelming feeling of walking into a packed room where everyone already seems to know each other.

Grab a drink immediately

Not because you need Dutch courage (though no judgment if you do). But because it gives your hands something to do, gives you a reason to stand near the bar, and that's where conversations naturally start. The bar queue is your friend. Some of my best event conversations have happened while waiting to order.

How to actually join a conversation without dying inside

This is the bit everyone worries about.

Walk up to a group of 2-3 people. Not a closed one-on-one where they look intense. Wait for a pause. Smile and say "Mind if I join you?"

They'll make space. Someone will ask your name or what you do. You're in.

If they're deep in conversation and it feels wrong to interrupt, stand nearby. Not creepily close, just... in the vicinity. Someone will include you within a minute or two. Promise.

And if you're already in a group and someone new hovers? Make space. Be the person you needed when you first arrived.

What to Actually Talk About (Beyond "So What Do You Do?")

Start with the easy stuff How did you hear about this? Been to one before? What brings you here? Are you based locally? What did you think of the talk?

Basic stuff, but it works. It's the warm-up. Nobody opens with their deepest business challenges or their pitch. Then listen. Actually listen.

This sounds obvious, but most people are so busy thinking about what they're going to say next that they're not really listening. Ask follow-up questions. "How did you get into that?" "What's that like?" "How long have you been doing it?" "What made you decide to go solo?"

People love talking about their work when someone's actually interested. Not interrogating them, just... curious. The conversation flows from there.

And here's the thing - if you're genuinely interested in what they do, they'll ask about you. You won't need to force it.

During the Event (AKA When to Stay, When to Move)

You're not collecting business cards, you're making new connections.

One or two good conversations beat ten forgettable ones. If you're having a great chat, stay in it for a couple of extra minutes. Don't cut it short because you feel like you should be "working the room" or meeting more people. But also don't spend the entire time talking to one person becuase it feels safe (i see you). You can have a 1:1 after the event for that. Quality over quantity. Always.

How to leave a conversation without being rude

When it's time - conversation's run its course, you need the loo, you want to meet someone else - just be honest. "I'm going to grab another drink, but really good to meet you" or "I should probably do a lap, but let's stay in touch." Exchange details and move.

Everyone gets it. Nobody's offended. It's networking, not speed dating.

The bathroom reset is a real thing

If you're feeling overwhelmed, go to the bathroom. Take a breath. Check your phone. Reset. Go back out. Everyone does this. Even the people who look completely comfortable. Sometimes you just need five minutes of not being "on."

 If going alone is a huge "no, no"

Bring a business mate, but seperate yourself from them. Sit in different places if attending a talk, talk to one side of the room whilst they talk to the other side. Then reset with each other for a few minutes, share tips on who they should talk to, then get back out there.

The Follow-Up (This Is Where Most People Fail)

Exchange details however feels natural

Some people do business cards, some say "let's connect on LinkedIn," some take a photo of your card then add you on Instagram. Do whatever feels natural and aligns with your business and what you want people to see. If you're a visual brand, Instagram makes sense. If you're B2B, LinkedIn. There's no wrong way.

Just make sure you actually do it. Saying "let's connect" and then not connecting is worse than not saying it at all.

Actually follow up (within 48 hours)

If you said you'd send something or connect, do it within 48 hours while they still remember who you are and what you talked about.

Keep it simple: "Good to meet you at [event] last night. Would love to stay in touch / continue the conversation about [thing you discussed] / grab a coffee sometime."

Don't overthink it. Don't write an essay. Just be human.

The coffee meeting is underrated

Here's something nobody tells you: arrange coffee with people even if there's zero obvious business gain. Met someone you've enjoyed talking to - someone interesting, someone you'd actually want to spend an hour with - and suggest coffee. It doesn't always have to be about making contacts with an agenda.

Some of the best opportunities come from organic connections. And if nothing else, you've got a new mate who gets what it's like to run a business. That's valuable in itself.

Not everyone will respond

And that's fine. People are busy. Sometimes the connection doesn't go anywhere. Don't take it personally, if it makes sense follow up. If it doesn't right now, follow up later in the year. Some relationships will develop, others will fade until the timings right and some don't get off the ground at all.

What Actually Works (After Four Years of This)

Go with an open mind

Not trying to meet specific people or get specific outcomes. Just show up and see what happens.

Some will tell you to go with purpose, to have a hit list, to target certain people. You absolutely can do that. But being open may surprise you. The person you didn't plan to meet might be the most valuable connection.

The "when you don't feel like going" rule

Almost always, the events I least feel like attending are where I have the best conversations or meet the most interesting people.

I don't know why this is true, but it keeps being true. So when I feel like bailing, I make an effort to go. Always.

One good conversation beats ten surface-level ones

Three people I genuinely connect with beats 30 business cards I'll never look at.

I've stopped counting conversations or connections. I focus on whether I had at least one good chat. One conversation where we went beyond surface level. That's a win.

Give as much as you take

Make introductions when you can. Share resources. Offer help. Send that article you mentioned. Make the connection you said you'd make. Networking works better when it's not just about what you can get. And people remember the ones who actually follow through.

Not every event will be your people

Some events you'll walk in and immediately know it's not your vibe. The energy's off, the crowd's wrong, everyone's 20 years older or younger or in completely different industries.

That's fine. Leave early. Try a different event. Either way you've learned something.

The business impact is real

Some of the best opportunities for Market & Me came from conversations at events I nearly didn't go to. Partnerships, clients, speaking opportunities. Doors that opened because I showed up and said hello. Not every event leads to something. But enough of them do that it's worth showing up.

If You're Still Nervous (Or Think You're Bad at This)

• The first few events are nerve-racking. That's normal. It doesn't mean you're bad at networking. It means you're human.

• You don't need to be naturally confident or extroverted. You don't need to be "good at networking." You just need to show up and say hello to a few people.

• Start with one event. Set a small goal - say hello to three people, stay for an hour, have two conversations. That's it. Don't try to work the whole room or meet everyone. Just do that. Then do it again. And again. Before you know it, you'll be the one making space in the circle for someone new, remembering what it felt like to be them.

• People are nicer than you think. And everyone - even the ones who look completely comfortable - feels awkward sometimes.

If you've been putting off networking, whether you're early in your business or just never felt comfortable with it, now might be the time to give it another go or get a few more meetups in your calendar.

The worst that happens? You spend an hour somewhere new, have a couple of conversations, and leave. The best that happens? You meet someone who changes your business, or perhaps, your life.

Worth the risk, I reckon.

Market & Me | Business strategy for retail, hospitality, leisure and lifestyle brands

Sophie has four years of experience running Market & Me and over 20 years in retail and hospitality strategy, working with both independent businesses and major property developers.